today is my one-year anniversary of being hospitalized for depression and anxiety.
i wanted to recognize it in some way. i didn’t want to celebrate. i didn’t want to ignore it. i wasn’t sure what to do.
so i drove over to the hospital after work. i put on some music that i connect with. and i just looked at the building. i could see my room from outside. then i got out of the car and stood in the sun, looking at my room and thinking about the people i met there. how their courage inspired me and helped me get through such a difficult time. i thought about how terrified i was, how i thought i would never feel better. i thought about how this hospital was the starting point for a journey i didn’t know i was in for. i thought about how much i have learned this year, since my time in the hospital. about mental health, about mindfulness, about yoga. about me. i thought about the fact that i was standing there, one year later. i made it. i made it.
when i was ready to leave, i felt an urge to bow come over me. at first i thought “you can’t bow at a hospital” and then i decided to just go with it. i brought my hands to prayer and bowed a long, slow bow of acknowledgement.
in yoga we say “namaste” which is a sanskrit greeting that means “the spirit in me bows to the spirit in you.”
hospital and all of your residents – past, present and future, including myself – the spirit in me bows to the spirit in you. namaste.